Monday, 6 May 2013

The Chokha - In English


I wrote this piece as a result of personal experience - any analysis of the events which unfolded must, I feel be left to others.


Definition

“When you love your Chokha, you love your country. When you love your country, you love your traditions! The Chokha emphasises I am Georgian. It is a spiritual costume’ - Leader of the All-Georgia Chokha Society.

The wearing of the Chokha at great occassions such as weddings and feasts is a way for the Georgian to express a belief in the traditions of Georgia, the family values, the heritage of song, wine and traditional dance. It embodies the spirit of nobility, honesty, intergrity, dedication to country, courage and pride.
__________________________________________________

‘Look at them they are so beautiful.’ David gestured towards the Shavnabada boys who were walking up ahead. It was as if he was conducting them, his long fingers orchestrated each movement they made, each step they took. ‘Look at the way the Chokha fits their shoulders, falls to the waist; it’s the triangle of a man. I am so proud; I love them especially when they wear it.’

The warmth and admiration in his voice came from deep within him. She looked at his profile, his eyes the colour of the rich earth glowed as he glanced at her and they glinted as the late autumn sunshine caught the silver on the belt holding the Kindjal secure at his waist.

Walking through Wakefield, on their way to a Civic Reception hosted by the Lord Mayor, they made an impressive sight, these 12 Georgian men, all dark haired and broad shouldered dressed in black woollen overcoats over grey shirts that fell to just below the knees, held tight at the waist. Soft black leather- knee length boots with paper-thin soles designed for dancing folded and pleated at the ankle.  Sarah noticed how they all stood just that little bit taller, that little bit prouder, that little bit stronger. They were just more Georgian. David deliberately slowed and held her hand rubbing her forefinger gently with his as he stared intently into her eyes. “It is everything to me, this beauty, it is everything to be Georgian and to wear this Chokha, the boys sing better, they are stronger, they are proud of it and I want it too much for them and for all of Georgia that we can wear it with pride.”

Sarah adored him. She was older, battle scared and heart weary and had waited many years for this man to come into her life. She had wished for him and dreamt of him and when he had appeared, so sure of her kind heart and unafraid it seemed of the depth and sorrow in her eyes, she had surrendered to him. His passion for the beauty of his song had turned her head and fed her heart. He worked so hard to bring out the music that was in the soil and the soul of Georgia’s mountains and plains, in her vineyards and her people and Sarah would have done anything, anything for him.

Misha turned and shouted and, as the spell broke she noticed that his Chokha, whilst beautiful was looking battered and a little on the small side. The boys were growing into men, their shapes were changing, they were all changing, growing, and it was exciting to be part of it. She wondered vaguely how she could help them to get the new Chokhas David had spoken so passionately about.

As Shavnabada walked through the Town Hall Chambers, they collected admiring glances, whispered comments and shy smiles from office workers and cleaners clearly impressed. The scent of linsead and polish drifted and mingled, layered itself on dark oak panelling and followed them as they climbed the circular stairwell. The rich deeply patterned carpet imprinted by their solemnity seemed to soak up their songs. When Shavnabada sang the mood changed, became enhanced and enriched and as mood after mood unveiled and unravelled, each one became imbued into the memory of  the  place. It was, the Lord Mayor said, the first time in the history of the Town Hall that songs of such dignity had been sung. Astounded at the beauty of the song, the passion and control, the dignity and the integrity of the men, the Lord Mayor presented them with a painting of the Chantry Chapel, a fine watercolour and a fitting memory for Shavnabada who had sung with such strong heart the songs from their culture, a culture as old as time.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sarah stilled herself. The setting for their last concert was breathtaking. Wedgwood blue and wedding cake whites adorned the walls of St. Cuthbert’s in Edinburgh. Shavnabada waited for their cue, hands rested on daggers, deep black Chokha’s pristine and filled with pride and expectation. The honey stained door at the rear opened and they strode, magnificent and commanding to the front and formed a semi-circle all the while accompanied by raptuous applause normally reserved for after a performance. A hush fell and Sarah watched them as they grounded, settled, squared hips, straightened spines and broadened shoulders and then, in unison, on cue, with no cue, started to sing. The audience were enraptured, captivated, and entranced. Gurian yodelling, sacred church chants, Zamtari so astoundingly delivered it stretched up into the heavens to connect with its brother that was circling and free-floating across the universe playing endlessly, looping and looping onboard NASA’s Voyager. Jaws dropped, eyes lit up and secret smiles played on the faces of the audience. Connections across time and space awoke within them as they listened and felt the love and passion which drew them in and echoed through and into the spaces inside their souls.

On the short flight from Edinburgh to London the following morning Sarah asked David about his ideas for Shavnabada’s new Chokha. He spoke about the colour of the Chokha he wanted.  Not quite brown, or ochre  but the colour of Georgian soil, a rich, deep colour that would connect them to the noble traditions of their past. She could feel the yearning within him and decided that she would raise the money needed.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Left alone once again in a void and a vacuum of loss that was becoming uncomfortably familiar, the bed cold and empty once again as David returned to Georgia, Sarah set out to involve as many people as possible to raise the £1000 needed for the cloth for this new Chokha. She ran a small business and decided to incorporate a raffle into the classes she gave hoping she could ignite the interest of her clients enough to raise the amount by the time she went to Georgia in February.  Everyone became  caught up in her enthusiasm and soon gold coins built into golden stacks, then stacks became notes, and finally, after bake sales, and raffles, craft fairs and music workshops there was more than enough.  Swelling with pride and delighted that so many people in the UK had supported her Sarah carried the money in an envelope, in her passport, in her handbag, to Georgia.  David was overwhelmed and spoke excitedly and passionately about the texture and weight of the material, of the importance of the cut, of how he imagined he would feel when he wore it.  Their eyes shone and as they walked the streets of Tbilisi visiting tourist destinations, eating Khinkali and enjoying one another. Sarah’s heart opened a little more, just a little bit more and she began to dream her own dreams.

On the second to last day of her visit, Gaga got married. A key member of Shavnabada with his haunting melodic voice and his ability to capture sounds inside raindrops that trickled down clear glass, he was kind and sincere. When Sarah had asked him about his wife to be, Nino, his voice melted when he said, ‘I adore her’.

Gaga’s Chokha was deep cream. Heavy butter colour for his wedding day, soft for his intention, pure for his pride, sweet and strong for his love and gentle for his beauty. His dark hair and baby face shone and his hands fluttered nervously. The black Chokhas worn by Shavnabada surrounded Gaga and contrasted against the snow that lay on the ground. Light and dark, light and dark under snow laden trees along light and dark avenues inside dark alleyways and blinded by bright light low winter sun the men blended and moved as one, with this dove central to them, his day, his declaration, his commitment to love, not only for Nino but for Georgia, her traditions, and to God.

The journey from Gaga’s parents’ home to Nino’s had been chaotic and Sarah had clung to the seats in David’s car as he had swerved and woven, raced, parried and thrust forward and back, as was the tradition  through the streets and avenues of Tbilisi to sing at the bride’s door. There a toast given to her and then both families travelled together, to the church.  Nino, in white, so young and beautiful wore a white fur coat to protect her from the cold but the sun shone and halo’d the two of them as if they were messengers of peace. Gaga, his heart strong in his chest, proud and noble looked up to the heavens and murmured a prayer of thanks.  As he stood with Nino beside him, they embodied all the hopes and dreams of Georgia’s past and future.  They were beautiful.



In Sameba Cathedral the Holy Trinity Church high above Old Tbilisi town, Gaga and Nino were married.  Both wore the traditional crowns of love, gold filigree adorned with pearls and jewels, both crowned with a golden crest. Both walked the circle of love thrice anti-clockwise each time encircled by the strong ties of love and brother-hood of Shavnabada as they sang holy marriage songs that echoed and filled the vast space.  David kept Sarah close and made sure she was part of everything, could see everything, could feel everything. His eyes smiled into hers  and as Gaga and Nino moved towards the sacred steps that women can only climb on their wedding day he turned to her and said, ‘Please God let that soon be you’.

A tiny cinder glow of love trapped deep in Sarah’s heart dared to flare. With glowing eyes, she hugged the knowledge that he wanted to marry her tight into herself, breathed it and felt it thaw and touch her soul. She felt as if she was flying. Later, in the snow when his feet, in their thin soled boots, and cold despite the heavy woollen Chokha, slipped and they fell towards each other laughing he breathed in her ear, smiled with his eyes and his mouth and his hands and said, ‘Let us be married late summer-time’

Leaving Georgia was hard, her life in the UK, her son, her home, all of it waited for her, opened its arms and beckoned her, welcomed her, loved her, offered her security, sanctuary and stability. Her heart yearned for David but her heart also yearned for her son and home. Glowing, flying, shining, ecstatic and hopeful, the flight back to the UK was punctuated with tears.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next few months were frantic and filled with exciting conversations about their marriage plans and where the material for the Chokhas would come from, how much material would be needed and how David felt about how they were being made. It was wonderful to hear about how he wanted wear it at their own wedding and how important it was to him. Unafraid of judgement and assured in her love for him Sarah began to dream of wearing a Chokha too. She felt completely connected with what it symbolised and started to look at old photographs of Georgian weddings hoping to find one that she could wear.

Shavnabada arrived in October accompanied by their new Chokhas.  The heavy wool, mountain soil colour, rich and nourishing, seemed to mold into each form. Sarah knew their shapes well, she had sketched them, painted each member as part of a piece she had given David as a gift the previous year and she could see how they had all grown, had became so much more than the half they were before.  This time they were whole and these Chokha made them complete. They hung from door-frames, ceiling lamps, were draped over bed-ends and ward-robe doors. .  Like dark spirits, they swung when brushed against leaving a sense of the ancient and strong echoes from times past lingered and seemed to call upon the wearers.  Daggers dangled precisely and the dull mute of the boots were mirrored in the black of the belts, which secured them in place. Each wooden bullet nestled in its own pocket and was made of rare Georgian cedar to connect with the ancient warrior’s bow, each one stood to attention in a row across each chest. 

Shavanbada had grown up.  These men wore their national costume with pride and a sense of responsibility. Sarah could see it in the way they walked and held themselves. Each concert had a maturity to it that had been lacking before. Everywhere they went they commanded respect and it was clear that this had been earned. There was clarity in their performance, a deep knowledge of themselves and a connection to an ancient land that was undeniable. David, when he wore his Chokha seemed wiser somehow.

It was funny, Sarah thought, reflecting on the day before when they had been shopping, how David had asked her for her opinion about different clothes. What did she think about this style of trouser, did she like this grey waistcoat? This jumper? This jacket? These shoes? This shirt with a double collar? Not particularly one for shopping Sarah had said supportive things but without really knowing why as David looked stylish in anything he wore. He just had that way about him. The last minute purchase of a long cane umbrella with wooden question mark handle made her smile. David would look like an English gentleman in his new clothes.

Sarah saw that shirt again late the following summer. David wore it, as well as the waistcoat, the grey trousers, the shoes and even though, on the photographs it did not look like rain, he carried the umbrella. He looked like an English Gentleman.

The photographs were sharp and professionally done. She saw him through the camera lens, the photographer’s eye captured the turn of his head, the slight smile of satisfaction that played around his lips. Friend’s fearful of her emotional state had tried to find out what had happened and had sent her them via face-book.

She called him every day. He did not answer.

Then 18 weeks after their own relationship had cracked but un- aware that it had completely broken Sarah asked him why he had not worn his Chokha on his wedding day, the most important day of his life.

‘My wife asked me not to’

Sarah, already sick with grief and reeling from his lies and deceptions replied, ‘I think you have married the wrong woman’

Postscript

Received from David Friday 28th September, via e-mail 27 days after his marriage and immediately after Shavnabada performed at the 2012 Symposium in Tbilisi:

'hahaha fuck u u are delated from mirandas facebook and a lll from uk sad how ill u are and how it is too much waht u are doing and how funy u are like this. go on go on and people ll be more happy whith u. u must know allso that i m not getting your sms u r bloked just i m getting ring that thomeon sand me sms but i cant read it u r blocked.:) so i do not know wat u ar writting to be but i know that all kike shavnabda was perfect in concert all wos perfekt and all like my wishe and all wos happy so go on pls and lied your salf. by by. sham on u pelple meet me whth big congretulatins and thome of tham present to Natias flowers.com on and stop now shame on you.'


October 20th 2012


Wednesday, 1 May 2013

The Chokha




Written after personal experiences and observations about the role of The Chokha in Georgian society – translated by Eliso Sarava.

Coxa _ tradiciuli qarTuli samosi

ganmarteba:
rodesac Seni Coxa giyvars, giyvars Seni qveyana. rodesac Seni qveyana giyvars, giyvars Seni tradiciebi. Coxa xazs usvams Sens qarTvelobas, es sulieri samosia, qarTvel CoxosanTa sazogadoebis lideri.
gansakuTrebuli SemTxvevebis dros, rogorcaa jvriswera da sxvadasxva sazeimo dResaswauli Coxis tareba qarTvelebisaTvis erTgvari saSualebaa sakuTari rwmenis, qarTuli tradiciebis, ojaxuri faseulobebis, qarTuli simReris, cekvis, Rvinis pativiscemis gamosaxatavad. masSi gansxeulebulia keTilSobileba, patiosneba, Rirseba, qveynis erTguleba, simamace da siamaye.
“Sexede, ra lamazebi arian”, daviTma Savnabadas biWebze mimiTiTa, romlebic Cvens win, zemoT midiodnen. TiTqos misi grZeli TiTebiT diriJorobda maT TiToeul moZraobas, TiToeul gadadgmul nabijs. “Sexede Coxa rogor uxdeba maT mxar-beWs, rogor viwrovdeba welisken, es aris mamakacis sxeulis samkuTxedi. rogor meamayeba, ra kargebi arian, gansakuTrebiT, roca Coxebi acviaT.”
aRtaceba da siTbo mis xmaSi gulis siRrmidan modioda. saram gaxeda mis profils, Tvalebi noyieri, mdidari miwis siRrmisferad auelvarda, roca mas Sexeda. mis TvalebSi gviani Semodgomis mzis sxivi qamris vercxlidan irekleboda, romelzec xanjali ekida da TiTqos icavda mis wels.
es 12 qarTveli vaJkaci, yvela SavTmiani, farTe mxarbeWiT, Sav grZel CoxebSi   gamowyobilebi, rux axaluxze, welSi qamriT, midiodnen ueiqfildSi samoqalaqo Sexvedris ceremonialisTvis, sadac batoni meri elodebodaT da saocar STambeWdav sanaxaobas warmoadgendnen. rbili Savi tyavis uZiroebi, qaRaldis sisqis ZirebiT sacekvaod Seqmnilebi, kargad SeekraT da TasmebiT gaekoWaT wvivebze. saram SeamCnia Tu rogor cotaTi ufro metad maRlebi iyvnen, cotaTi ufro metad amayebi, cotaTi ufro metad Zlierebi. isini cotaTi ufro metad qarTvelebi iyvnen. daviTma ganzrax Seanela svla da misi saCvenebeli TiTi nazad ausva saras TiTebs da Tvalebi gauswora. “es yvelaferi CemTvis Zalian bevrs niSnavs, iyo qarTveli da ataro es silamaze, Coxa. biWebi ukeTesad mRerian, ufro Zlierebi arian, maT es eamayebaT da mec es minda, maTTvis, mTeli saqarTvelosaTvis, rom Cven es siamayiT vataroT.”
sara mas aRmerTebda, masze ufrosi iyo, brZola gadatanili da gadaRlili da didxans eloda, rom erTxelac aseTi mamakaci movidoda mis cxoverebaSi. eloda, natrobda, da rodesac gamoCnda, darwmunebuli misi gulis sikeTeSi da Tvalebis siRrmeSi arsebuli sevdis da varamis uSiSari, miendo mas, guldandobilad miendo. mis guls kvebavda da aRafrTovanebda daviTis siyvaruli qarTuli simRerebisadmi. is ise muSaobda sakuTar Tavze, rom SeZleboda gadmoeca sakuTari miwis musika, musika qarTuli sulis, mTebis da vakeebis, venaxebis da xalxis. sara misTvis yvelafers gaakeTebda, yvelafers.
miSas Zaxilma sara amqveyanas daabruna da man SeniSna, rom miSas Coxas naoWebi qonda da cota ar iyos dapataraveboda. biWebi kacobaSi gadadiodnen, icvlebodnen, izrdebodnen da amaRelvebeli iyo yvelaferi amis momswred yofna. Tan bundovnad imazec fiqrobda rogor daexmareboda maT im Coxebis SeZenaSi daviTi rom ase gatacebiT elaparakeboda amas win.
neli svliT win miiwevdnen Savnabadas biWebi qalaqis meriis darbazebisken da gzad agrovebdnen STabeWdilebis qveS myofi iq momuSave xalxis moxiblul mzeras, moridebul Rimils, aRtacebul CurCuls. selisa da saprialebeli zeTis suni erTmaneTSi ireoda, muqi muxis xis kedlebze trialebda da Coxosnebs ukan miyveboda daxveul kibeebze asvlisas. mdidruli, muqnaxatebiani xaliCa maT sadResaswaulo ierTan Serwymuli, kidev ufro gamdidrda biWebis simReriT. Savnabadas simRerisas ganwyoba ganwyobas cvlida, umjebesdeboda, mdidrdeboda, xsnida da amxelda erTi meores da TiToeuli am adgilis mogonebiT iJRinTeboda. batonma mermac aRniSna, rom aseTi Rirseuli simRerebi am kedlebs aqamde ar gaegonaT. simRerebis gatacebulma da amave dros gawonasworebulma Sesrulebam, Semsruleblebis sisufTavem da keTilSobilebam da TviT simRerebis silamazem ganacvifra meri. man stumrebs aCuqa CenTris eklesiis araCveulebrivi, akvareliT Sesrulebuli naxati, Sesaferisi mosagonari Savnabadas biWebisTvis, romlebmac ase gulianad imReres maTi kulturis, drosaviT Zveli kulturis simRerebi.
sara gaitruna. Savnabadas bolo koncertis garemocva sunTqvis Semkvreli iyo: vejvudiseul moruxo cisferSi da saqorwilo tortis qaTqaTa TeTrSi gaxveuli wm.quTbertis eklesiis kedlebi edinburgSi. Savnabadas biWebi, xanjalze dayrdnobili xelebiT, Savi CoxebiT, siamayiT da molodiniT savseebi Tavis rigs elodebodnen. eklesiis kari gaiRo da maT Seabijes didebulad, sakuTari mniSvnelobis SegrZnebiT, aRtacebuli taSiscemis fonze, romelsac Cveulebriv perfomansis bolosTvis inaxaven xolme, da win naxevarwred dadgnen. siCume Camovarda, sara uyurebda maT, rogor muxasaviT myarad idgnen, fexebiT mijaWvodnen miwas, welSi gamarTuliyvnen, beWebi gaeSalaT. da Semdeg daiwyes, unisonSi, xmis micemis gareSe.
msmeneli mojadovda, aRfrTovanda da datyvevda. guruli krimanWuli, sagaloblebi, zamTari, ise imReres msmenels frTebi misces maTsaviT zecamde asuliyo, maT SeerTebodnen Tavisufal navardSi samyaros Tavze, sadRac Zalian, Zalian maRla, nasas voiaJerTan. msmenelebs yba CamovardnodaT, Tvalebi anTebodaT da raRac gamoucnobi Rimili dasTamaSebdaT. drosa da sivrceSi arsebulma kavSirebma gaiRviZes maTSi am simRerebis mosmenisas, siyvaruli cecxlad ainTo da eqod gaisma maT Sinagan sivrceSi.
meore dilas edinburgidan londonamde mokle frenisas saram gamohkiTxa daviTs SavnabadelTa axali Coxebis Taobaze. daviTma uTxra Tu ra feris surda yofiliyo es axali Coxebi. ara mTlad yavisferi an Jangmiwisferi, aramed qarTuli miwis feri, mdidari, Rrma, romelic daakavSirebda maT warsul keTilSobil tradiciebTan. is xedavda mis dauZlevel survils da saram gadawyvita amisTvis saWiro fuli Seegrovebina.
rodesac isev darCa sicarieleSi da simartoveSi, romelic mouxerxeblad nacnobi xdeboda TandaTan, isev carieli da civi loginiT, radgan daviTi saqarTveloSi wavida, saram gadawyvita rac SeiZleboda meti xalxi CaerTo fulis SegrovebaSi da rogorme eyida misTvis es ZviradRirebuli naWeri axali CoxisTvis. saras patara biznesi hqonda da moifiqra latarea CaerTo gakveTilebSi, is imedovnebda klientebSi interesis cecxlis gaCaRebas da sanam  saqarTveloSi Cafrindeboda, Tebervlamde saWiro Tanxis Segrovebas. marTlac, yvela Caeba misi enTuziazmis Semxedvare da male oqros monetebi gadaiqca oqros zvinebad, oqros zvinebi ki banknotebad da bolos kulinariuli gayidvebis, latareebis, xelTnakeTobebis gamofena-gayidvis da musikis gakveTilebis Semdeg saWiroze meti iyo. siamayiT Tavi aewia, aRtacebuli iyo xalxis mxardaWeriT, rom maT fuli Seugroves, konvertSi, konverti pasportSi, pasporti xelCanTaSi da saqarTvelosaken. daviTi gacxovelebiT saubrobda qsovilis teqsturaze da wonaze, Wrilis mniSvnelobaze da Tu rogor warmoedgina Tavi masSi gamowyobili. maTi Tvalebi brwyinavda da erTmaneTiT aRtacebulebi Tbilisis quCebSi seirnobdnen, turistebis sayvarel adgilebs stumrobdnen, xinkals Wamdnen. saras guli cotaTi kidev metad gaiRo, kidev cotaTi da mas ocnebebic gauCnda.
britaneTSi wamosvlamde ori dRiT adre gaga daqorwinda. jgufis solisti, vis saocrad melodiur xmasac hqonda Tviseba daetyvevebina bgerebi wvimis wveTebSi, romlebic TiTqos kriala minaze mirakrakebdnen, Zalian keTili da gulwrfeli iyo. rodesac saram mis sacoleze, ninoze hkiTxa, misi xma dadna:” me mas vaRmerTeb”.
gagas Coxa muqi naRebis feri iyo, muqi _ jvrisweris dRisTvis, rbili _ misi CanafiqrisTvis, wminda _ siamayisTvis, tkbili _ siyvarulisTvis da nazi _ silamazisTvis. misi muqi Tma da bavSvuri saxe anaTebda da xelebs nerviulad ifSvnetda. irgvliv Semojaruli Savnabadas biWebis Savi Coxebi garemos TeTr samosze saocar kontrasts qmnida. qaTqaTa Tovli miwaze, muqi da naTeli, Savi da TeTri. daTovlili, Savi xeebis Sav-TeTr xeivanSi moZrav erT sxeulad qceul SavCoxianebs, SuaSi mtrediviT TeTri siZiT, zamTris damreci mzis sxivi Tvals Wrida. es iyo misi dRe, misi Tavdadebis piroba siyvarulisTvis ara mxolod ninos mimarT, aramed misi tradiciebis, misi RmerTis mimarT.
gagas saxlidan ninos saxlamde Tbilisis quCebsa da prospeqtebze mgzavroba giJuri da qaoturi iyo, sara Cafrenoda skams daTos manqanaSi, radgan wesis mixedviT, xan win gavardebodnen, xan ukan CamorCebodnen, erTmaneTs ejibrebodnen rbola-gadaswrebaSi, rom bolos sapatarZlos karTan, simRera daegugunebiaT. iq mas sadRegrZelo aTqmevines da Semdeg orive ojaxi erTad gaemarTa taZrisken. TeTrebSi gamowyobil, ase axalgazrda da ase lamaz ninos TeTri bewvi moexvia sicivisgan dasacavad, Tumca mze CaxCaxebda da maT Saravandedad adgaT, TiTqos mSvidobis mtredebi yofiliyvnen. gaga, misi amayi, keTilSobili da Zlieri guliT, zecisken mimarTuli TvalebiT samadlobel locvas ambobda. orive erTad, marTlac Zalian lamazebi, gansxeulebuli imedebi da ocnebebi iyvnen saqarTvelos momavlis da warsulis.
gagam da ninom Tbilisis sakaTedro taZarSi, Zvel Tbiliss Tavze rom wamodgomia, iq daiweres jvari. orives oqros filigrimuli, margalitebiT da Zvirfasi qvebiT gamSvenebuli gvirgvinebi edga Tavze, romlebic oqros jvriT bolovdeboda. orivem saaTis mimarTulebis sawinaaRmdegod samjer wre Semouara centralur xats taZarSi, Savnabadas Zmadnaficebis mWeqare jvrisweris sagaloblebis TanxlebiT (romelic am uzarmazar sivrces avsebda), siyvarulis TasmebiT xelebgadaxveulebma.
daviTi saras ar iSorebda gverdidan da akvirdeboda, rom is am ambis Tanamonawile da moziare yofiliyo, egrZno, daenaxa da gaegona yvelaferi. erTmaneTs TvalebiT uRimodnen da rodesac nino ambionze avida, taZris im nawilze, sadac qals mxolod erTxel, jvriswerisas SeuZlia avides, mobrunda sarasken da uTxra, ”RmerTma qnas, Senc male daginaxo iq”.
saras gulSi gamomwyvdeulma cicqna, nacara siyvarulis naperwkalma aelvarebac ki gabeda. gabrwyinebuli TvalebiT man es ambavi, rom daviTs masze daqorwineba undoda, gulSi Caixuta, Rrmad CaisunTqa da igrZno rogor SeZra da gaalRo misi suli. TiTqos frTebic gamoesxa. mogvianebiT, roca is, uZiroebSi gamowyobili, Semcivnebuli miuxedavad sqeli Salis Coxisa, TovlSi dacurda da isini erTad daecnen siciliT, daviTma saras TvalebiT, tuCebiT, xelebiT Sescina da uTxra: “modi, zafxulis bolos davqorwindeT.”
saqarTvelodan wasvla Zneli aRmoCnda. britaneTSi cxovreba, misi Svili, saxli, yvelaferi erTad elodeboda mas, xelgaSlili elodeboda, eZaxda, siyvaruliT xvdeboda, mSvid navsayudels da usafrTxoebas pirdeboda. misi guli orad gaxleCiliyo, daviTTan darCenas Txovda da Tan misi Svilisken da saxlisken miiswrafvoda. mgzavrobisas ukan, britaneTSi mbrwyinav, mfrinav, imediT savse da aJitirebul ganwyobas xandaxan cremlebi wyvetda.
momdevno ramodenime Tve giJuri iyo, maT saqorwilo gegmebze da Coxebis Sekervaze saubrebiT datvirTuli. sad iyididnen am qsovils, ramdeni dasWirdebodaT, ras da rogor fiqrobda am yvelaferze daviTi. sasiamovno mosasmeni iyo misgan, Tu rogor apirebda mis Cacmas maT sakuTar jvrisweraze da ra did mniSvnelobas aniWebda is yvelafer amas. gankiTxvis uSiSarma da sakuTar siyvarulSi darwmunebulma saramac daiwyo fiqri imaze, Tu rogor Caicmevda Coxas jvrisweraze. misi simboluri mniSvneloba sruliad gacnobierebuli hqonda da Seudga kidec Zveli qarTuli jvriswerebis fotoebis Tvalierebas imis imediT, rom misTvis Sesafers aarCevda.
Savnabada oqtomberSi Camovida, Tavis axal CoxebTan erTad. sqeli Sali, mTis noyieri miwis feri, Canda kargad morgeboda TiToeulis moyvanilobas. saram maTi sxeulis formebi kargad icoda, maTi sketCebic ki hqonda daxatuli da aCuqa kidec daviTs wina wels. axla ki gansxvaveba rogori cxadi iyo, erTi orad gazrdiliyvnen biWebi. amjerad isini erT mTlians warmoadgendnen da es Coxebic asrulebda maT Sesaxedaobas. isini yvelgan ekida: karis CarCoebze, WaRebze, sawolebsa da karadebze drapirebasaviT Camokidebuli irgvliv, bneli sulebiviT. roca  wmendnen ise qanaobdnen gegoneboda TiTqos gamoZaxili gesmoda uZvelesi da Zlieri, Seyovnebuli warsulisa, Zvel mflobelebs rom uxmobdnen. xanjlebi JRarunebdnen, uZiroebis uRimRamo siCume ki irekleboda qamrebis siSaveSi, romlebzedac mibmulebi iyvnen. TiToeuli xis masra, iSviaTi qarTuli kedaris xisgan damzadebuli, uZveles mebrZolTa mSvildebis msgavsad, mijriT Cawyobiliyo mkerdis orive mxares.
Savnabada gaizarda. mis wevrebs Coxebi, erovnuli samoseli siamayis, pasuxismgeblobis da movaleobis grZnobiT avsebulebs emosaT. maTi Tavis daWeris da siarulis maneriT xvdeboda sara amas. TiToeul koncerts etyoboda is momwifebuloba, rac aqamde aklda. sadac ki wavidodnen, yvelgan pativiscemiT ganawyobdnen msmenels da daimsaxures kidec es maT. Sesruleba naTeli da mkafio, sakuTari Tavis Rrma codna da kavSirebi uZveles miwasTan udao iyo. daviTi ki CoxaSi gamowyobili, raRacnairad ufro keTilgonieri Canda.
sasaciloa, sara fiqrobda, wina dRis Sofingi rom axsendeboda, sasacilod ekiTxeboda daviTi mas azrs sxvadasxva tansacmelze. rogor moswonda masze am stilis Sarvali, da es nacrisferi Jileti? jempri? es fexsacmelebi? kostumi?  da es ormagsayeloiani perangi? marTalia, saras arc erTi amaTgani gamorCeulad ar mouwonebia Sofingisas, radgan verc xvdeboda ase ratom unda gaekeTebina, daviTs yvelaferi uxdeboda da yvelaferSi eleganturad gamoiyureboda. bolo wuTis SenaZenma grZelma Savma qolgam, kiTxvis niSniani saxeluriT, saras Rimili mohgvara. daviTi namdvili ingliseli jentlmeniviT iqneboda am qolgiT xelSi.
saram is perangi kidev erTxel, mogvianebiT naxa, momdevno zafxuls. daviTs ecva, isic da nacrisferi Jiletic, is fexsacmelebic da miuxedavad imisa, rom wvimiani amindi ar Canda suraTze, qolgac ki eWira, da marTlac miamgvanebdi mas inglisel jentlmens.
suraTebi mkafio da profesionalurad Sesrulebuli iyo. TiTqos fotoaparatis linzebSi TviTonac iyureboda. ise ostaturad daeWira fotografs Tavis mobrunebis momentic da isic, Zlivs SesamCnevi, kmayofili Rimili tuCebze rom dasTamaSebda. megobrebi misi emociuri mdgomareobis gamo SeSindnen da ecadnen misTvis gamoerkviaT ra moxda, da es feisbuqiT gamougzavnes.
 yoveldRe urekavda mas da DdaviTi ar pasuxobda. 18 kviris Semdeg, rac maTi urTierToba gaibzara, Tumca sara jer kidev ver acnobierebda rom is ukve sruliad damsxvreuliyo, man hkiTxa daviTs, mis yvelaze mniSvnelovan dRes, mis jvrisweraze Coxa ratom ar ecva.
“colma mTxova ar Camecva”.
saram, ukve dardisagan daavadebulma, misi tyuilebiT da sicruiT Tavbrudaxveulma upasuxa: “ase mgonia saSeno qalze ar daqorwindi”.
bolosityva
daviTisgan miRebuli e-maili. misi jvrisweris Semdeg 27 dRe gavida. Savnabada, ki ramdenime DdRis win 2012wlis Tbilisis simpoziumze gamovida:
“hahahaha, Seni dedac sara mirandas feisbuqidan xom wagSales da axla britaneTidan Tqma ro rogor xar da ramdeni akeTeb da aseTnairad sasacilo Sen. midi midi da xalxi ufro bednieri Sengan. Sen unda codna ro me ar viReb Sen mesijebi. dablokili xar. me darekva ro Sen gagzavna me mesiji mara dablokili xar J da ar ici me Sen ra wera mara vici Savnabada magari iyo Zaan, day vela bednieri da yvela me survilebs ro kargio. midi midi moatyue Seni Tavi da sircxvili Senze, xalxi mxvdebian didi molocvebi da saxlSi saCuqari naTias yvavilebi, midi axla da gaCerdi da sircxvili Seni.”
2012wlis 20 oqtomberi



Saturday, 27 April 2013

Where do I fit in? - translated into Georgian


 saqarTvelo, sad vipovo SenTan Cemi adgili?
Aaxla rodesac gacilebiT meti vici masze, minda ki es namdvilad?
genderuli sakiTxebisadmi tradiciuli damokidebuleba saqarTveloSi jer kidev dominirebs. mSeneblebi Tbilisis erT-erT centralur ubanSi Canda sakmaod garkveulebi iyvnen qalis rolze maT sazogadoebaSi,
“idealuria roca kaci ojaxis Tavi da marCenalia, qali ki ojaxSia da zrunavs masze. esaa swored harmoniuli ojaxi” Tqva erTma.
es ZiriTadad is Tvalsazrisia, romelsac qveynis sakmaod Zlieri eklesia qadagebs. 2012 wlis aprilis erT-erT sakvirao wirvaze Tbilisis MmTavar kaTedralur taZarSi, qarTuli marTlmadidebluri eklesiis meTauri ilia II qadagebda:
“kacs abaria ojaxi da misi rCena, qali ki saxlSi unda elodebodes da daRlil meuRles mosvlisTanave miegebos, fexebi dabanos.”
aq araferi iyo naTqvami qarTul ojaxebSi “ojaxis ufrosis” mier qalebis mimarT ganxorcielebul Zaladobis kargad dokumentirebul maRal maCveneblebze. es sityvebi TiTqosda saqarTveloSi mimdinare qalTa moZraobis aRmavlobis gamo Semokruli glovis zarebia. es moZraoba TandaTan Zalas ikrebs, qalebi cdiloben xma aimaRlon Zaladobaze da maT patriarqalur sazogadoebaSi uflebebis mopovebisaTvis aqtiuroben. mamakacTa da qalTa zemoT naxsenebi aseTi erTi SexedviT sasacilo saqcielis molodiniT xdeba arsebuli genderuli stereotipebis waqezeba, mowoneba da samaradJamod damkvidreba am ojaxuri mona-morCilobis ciklisa *(2). rogorc es gavrcelebul qarTul gamoTqmaSia “qalma unda icodes misi adgili”. . . qalebisaTvis aq dResaviT naTelia maTi adgili da is maTi mamakacebis gverdiT namdvilad araa.
SemiZlia amis mqadageblis pativiscema mas Semdeg rac man qalebisTvis gaimeta? Cemgan es pativiscema zustad igive zomis iqneba rac TviT aqvs mas Cems mimarT. ojaxuri Zaladobis miRebis da misTvis mwvane Suqis anTebis gamo, me ukve aRar maqvs didi survili sadme mainc vipovo aq Cemi adgili. qalTa sruli qedmoxrilobis sakiTxi ar aris unikaluri saqarTvelosTvis. ase, rom vgoneb Rirs Cavixedo cota Rrmad sazogadoebaSi da mis tradiciebSi da iqneb mivagno sad SeiZleba gamovnaxo aq adgili, an movergo.
zogjer Cagecineba adamians ise emTxveva movlenebis wlisTavebi da pirad mtrebTan dakavSirebuli dReebi erTmaneTs. patriarqis es qadageba, TiTqosda sagangaSod Semokruli zarebi, emTxveva saqarTvelosTan Cemi sakuTari piradi urTierTobis dakargvis glovis zarsa da dards. me marTlac mWirdeba imis gaazreba da gageba Tu sad da rogor unda megrZno Tu vigrZno (isev?) Tavi aqaurobis nawilad.
axlaxans davbrundi qarTuli simReris nvirekulida, romelic gaimarTa Sotlandiis mTianeTSi arsebuli findhornis fondSi. aq, findhornis kvireulSi monawileobis misaRebad mowveulebi iyvnen raTa sakuTar Tavze ganecadaT zogs pirvelad, zogs kide Cemi ar iyos meramdened, sixaruli qarTuli simReris Sesrulebisa da aJRerebisas gancdili, TrTola misi bgerebis aTrTolebasTan erTad. Sinagan TrTola-vibrirebasTan dakavSireba sakmaod rTuli saqmea CvenTvis, dasavlelebisaTvis, qarTuli simReris musika swored am saqmes emsaxureba, rac mas unikalurobas aniWebs. Sinagani vibraciis miyuradebiT, moTokviT da am energiis sakuTari “me”sken warmarTviT adamians SeuZlia gaigonos da igrZnos am uzarmazari energiis rezonansi gacilebiT Sors da Rrmad vidre ubralod xmis JReraa, TiTqosda bgerebis bombi afeTqebula am “me”s SigniT. es is tradiciuli midgomaa simReris mimarT, romelsac dasavleTSi viyenebT. es im energiasTan kavSiria, romelsac qarTvelebi “bunebriv” mdgomareobad miiCneven, da ar sWirdebaT maT amisTvis ganmartoveba magaliTad, bunebaSi, rogorc amas axali drois stereotipuli  hipuri mogzaurebi akeTeben, rodesac laSqroben Sotlandiis mTebSi sakuTar TavTan yofnis da Wvretis, ganmartoebis survilis dasakmayofileblad. is harmonia, rasac es Sinagani vibraciebi qmnian uaRresad gamamxnevebelia da SeuZlia gulis kari gaxsnas, goneba ganwmidos da frenis SegrZnebac gangacdevinoT, Tu ra Tqma unda araa zedapiruli da guliT da gonebiT namReria.
sad SeiZleba aseTi TrTolvis gancdis Semdeg adgili movunaxo am arqaul da modi davarqvaT Tavisi saxeli, warmoudgenel da qedmaRlur gancxadebas romelic saqarTvelos patriarqma gaakeTa? rac me minaxavs da gamigonia saqarTveloSi bevri qali, iqneba es feministi Tu visTvisac sruliad gaugebaria feminizmi, erTnairad eTanxmeba raRac donemde saqarTvelos eklesiis mier maT win dadebul ZiriTad principebs, imitom rom es sazogadoebaSi maTi rolebis gansazRvraSi exmarebaT, im sazogadoebaSi, romelmac faqtobrivad dakarga sakuTari gza genderul sakiTxebTan dakavSirebiT.
gansxvavdeba agreTve qarTuli gageba da gamocdileba am vibraciuli, mTrTolvare energiis daniSnulebisa, Cven dasavleTSi gviZneldeba aseTi ramisgan sargebeli vipovoT.
problema maSin Cndeba, rodesac es mamoZravebeli Zala Tu energia ganuyofeli nawilia im sazogadoebrivi rolebisa, romelic mosaxerxebelia mxolod mamakacTaTvis. ase magaliTad, aq kacs ase awyobs qals sjerodes, rom es kavSirebi( energia) unikaluria da maTi kulturis memkvidreobaa, ris gamoc xelSeuxebeli unda iyos. bevri qarTveli am Sinagan energias endoba da hgonia is maT TavianT TanamemamuleebTan daakavSirebs da daaaxlovebs. bevri mas usafrTxoebisa da erTobis SenarCunebis saSualebad aRiqvams (romelic SeiZleba mogeCvenoT an ar mogeCvenoT iluziad), agreTve genderul identobadac (savaraudod meore iluzia), romelic sabWoTa kavSiris darRvevamde sakmaod Tanaswori iyo (genderul Tanasworobas vgulisxmob)*(3).
SesaZlebelia qalebma daijeron rom isini am energiebis da kavSirebis gareT arseboben rodesac maTSidac igive vibraciebi warmoiSoba? Cemi mxridan saqarTveloSi sul mcire 6-jer stumroba (miwveviT) Cems erTgvar Zalisxmevasac unda niSnavdes, yovel SemTxvevaSi mcdelobas mainc, gamego da gza gamekvlia am sakiTxis irgvliv arsebul morevSi.
eklesiis garda qarTuli xalxuri musikisa da sagaloblebis (sanam rusebi akrZalavdnen) yvelaze tradiciul adgilad sufra miiCneva, romelic ZiriTadad aRqmulia mikrokosmosad ufro didi makro qarTuli sazogadoebisa. ucxoel stumars guliTadad maspinZloben *(5) da am tradiciis Tanamonawiled xdian, rac ramdenadac mesmis saukeTeso adgilia am sakiTxebTan Sexebisa da dakvirvebisaTvis. sad aris qalebis adgili am mikrokosmosSi, ara mxolod Cemi, dasavleli qalis, aramed TviTon qarTveli qalebis?
gansxvavebebi dasavleTsa da saqarTvelos Soris, masSi Tu ra warmodgena gvaqvs sufraze, rogor vakvirdebiT da aRtacebaSi movdivarT misiT aSkara da cxadi iyo gasuli kviris erT saRamos konferenciaze findhornSi, sadac qarTuli sufra iyo gamarTuli. es sufra tradiciuli iyo im gagebiT, rom gvyavda Tamada, gvqonda mis mier SemoTavazebuli sadRegrZeloebi da gvyavda maspinZeli, fondis mxatvruli direqtori. xalxis urTierTobebi da saqcielic magidasTan TanxmobaSi iyo TamadasTan, romelic Zalian poeturi adamiani iyo da rac mTavaria kargad gaTviTcnobierebuli qarTul da inglisur wes-CveulebebSi. sufra tradiciuli iyo im gagebiTac, rom yovel sadRegrZelos moyveboda qarTuli simRera da TiToeuli sufris wevris gulidan amomaval sityvebs, romlebic sadRegrZelos ukavSirdeboda miesalmeboda irgvliv yvela. tradiciuli iyo imitomac, rom karga xans gagrZelda da vsvamdiT wiTel Rvinos, rogorc pativiscemis kidev erTi dasturi, ra Tqma unda sadRegrZelos Semdeg da ara manamde.
swored aq damTavrda sufris tradiciuli gagebis idea da Semdeg Cemi azriT, erTob inglisur/evropulma momentebma iCines Tavi. Tavdapirvelad unda vaxseno Tamadis roli da TviT Tamada, romelsac ramden qarTul sufrazec ar vyofilvar iSviaTad Tu vinme amCnevs xolme, stumrebi xSirad erTmaneTSi layboben, an sulac mobilur telefonebze saubroben, zogi SeiZleba mRerodes kidec an xmamaRla gacxarebiT laparakobdes misTvis saintereso Temebze. Cemi gagebiT, rodesac sufraze msgavsi ram dasaSvebi xdeba maSin es udaod cudi Tamadis niSania. amis sapirispirod, Cvens Sotlandiur sufraze yvela erTmaneTs usmenda da mxars ubamda, yvelas erTi sasaubro Tema aerTianebda, yvela Tamadis  sufris warmarTvis saucxoo niWiT moxibluli, krZalviT SevyurebdiT mas. igrZnoboda erToba, raRac axalic gavigeT da viswavleT kidec. Cveni Tamada gaxldaT frenk qeini, romelmac Cemi azriT didi samuSao Seasrula da gvaCvena Tu rogori SeiZleba iyos da unda iyos sufra. “Tana-moTamaded” ki mas qali hyavda, erTob mgrZnobiare da Wkviani qali, mkafio metyvelebiT da naTeli saubriT. sxva qalebsac masTan erTad TavianTi wvlili SehqondaT sufris erTobaSi da mxiarulebaSi. mikrofoni gadadioda xelidan xelSi, yvelas visac Tavisi azris da gulidan amomavali sityvebis Tqma undoda, ambobda amas Tamamad. sufrasTan isxdnen TeTrkaniani da Savkaniani qalebi, maRlebi Tu dablebi, protestantebi, qalebi kelturi warmomavlobiT, amerikidan, iaponiidan. Sotlandielma qalma marjeri breim imRera qarTuli qalTa saritualo simRera, romelsac maSinve xmebi Seuwyves sufris wevrma qalebma. es iseTi saocari ram iyo, yovelgvari SiSis gareSe, laRad Sesrulebuli, rom me marTlac vigrZeni Tavi raRac gansakuTrebulis nawilad da me vgrZnobdi: me mindoda iq yofna.
es ar gavda tradiciul qarTul sufras, sadac qali arc gverdiT uzis Tavis mamakacs da verc imas naxav sadRagrZelos ambobdes. Tu ar gagimarTla da ar xar stumari qali, maSin mogiwevs umetesi drois samzareuloSi gatareba nairnairi kerZebis mosamzadeblad, qarTveli qalis rolic esaa: sufris msvlelobisas axal-axali da cxel-cxeli Semoitanos xolme, TefSebi da nasufrali akrifos magididan da ZiriTadad xelze moaxled emsaxuros sufris wevrebs. arasodes gamigonia qarTul sufraze qals sityva eTqvas da rodesac me vecade erTxel, maSinve gamaCumes da damarwmunes, rom es normaluri movlena iyo, damariges kidec Semdegac ase movqceuliyavi*(4). gekiTxebiT, sad da ratom unda mepova iq Cemi adgili, ormag standartebSi, Semdeg rom Tavi uaryofilad da ignorirebulad megrZno da Cemi TavisTvis damesva kiTxva, saerTod aq ra mindodaTqo?
findhornis sufra iyo cocxali, sazeimo, sufris yvela wevri saerTo mxiarulebaSi CarTuli, Tavazianebi sapirispiro sqesis mimarT. kerZebic, Tavis mxriv Zalian gemrieli da ubralo, ar warmoadgenda raRac rTul da CaxlarTul kulinarul Sedevrebs. maT Semqmnel mzareulebsac (orive sqesisas) didi madloba da gansakuTrebuli xseneba ergoT sufris wevrebisgan. es findhornis fondis damokidebuleba da midgoma kidev erTi mowmoba iyo aseTi fesvgadgmuli pativiscemisa pirvel rigSi da mec Tavs ra Tqma unda Zalian komfortulad vgrZnobdi, vgrZnobdi rom imaTi nawili viyavi. didi gansxvaveba qarTulsa da am Sotlandiur sufras Soris enis barieris ar arseboba iyo, aq yvela inglisurad saubrobda.
amasTan dakavSirebiT maxsendeba erT-erTi yvelaze gulsatkeni sufra CemTvis, sadac Tavs ukiduresad arakomfortulad vgrZnobdi, es lxini gaimarTa  britaneTSi. am sufraze yvela inglisurad saubrobda qarTvelebis garda, Tumca sakmaod kargad SeeZloT gagebac da azris gadmocemac, magram. .. pirvelad aq vigrZeni uxerxulad Tavi, TiTqos raRac ise ar iyo, rogorc unda yofiliyo, magram radgan qarTuli ar mesmoda ver vgebulobdi ra xdeboda. maT gverdiT adgils ver vpoulobdi. zedapirulad ase Canda, viTom yvelaferi Cveulebrivad midioda, magram Cemi qarTveli Tanameinaxeebi aSkarad normalurze ufro mets miRimodnen da micinodnen, sicilic raRac siTbos moklebuli iyo. mogvianebiT ramdenime wyarodan gavige, rom iq myofi qarTvelebis (kacebis) saubrebi Seicavda damamcirebel da seqsualuri konteqstis mqone Seuracxmyofel komentarebs Cemi misamarTiT. ese igi, am uxamsi komentarebis fonze TvalebSi  miyurebdnen, micinodnen, sadRegrZeloebs ambobdnen da TavianTi turnes warmatebas zeimobdnen. me ar minda amis nawili da moziare viyo. (es Zalian bevr cudze metyvelebs am konkretul qarTvel kacebis Sesaxeb da arafers Cemze, aqve minda aRvniSno, rom qalTa dayofa qaliSvilebad da bozebad gavrcelebuli  Temaa saqarTveloSi).
stumar qarTvelebs Soris Cems sakuTar qveyanaSi Tavi mousvenrad da ucxod vigrZeni, maSin roca sxvadasxva rasis, kulturisa da rwmenis warmomadgenlebTan findhornSi, romlebic gulaxdilebi da didi pativiscemiT gamsWvalulebi iyvnen qarTuli kulturis da tradiciebis mimarT Cemi xma TrToda simRerisas, suli maRldeboda, gulis kari iReboda da Tvalebi mibrwyinavda. me netarebaSi viyavi, radgan Tavs iqaurobis nawilad vTvlidi.
SeiZleba saqarTvelos patriarqs surdes gansazRvros qalTa roli qarTul sazogadoebaSi ise, rom maT ver SeZlon WeSmariti sixaruliT ibrwyinon TavianT qveyanaSi. SeiZleba mas surdes isini saxlSi isxdnen da pasiurad elodebodnen qmrebis mosvlas, raTa maT fexebi dabanon. SeiZleba qalebis umravlesoba amas normad aRiqvams, rom ara aqvs xmis amoRebis ufleba, da rom verasodes Seicvleba rame. maSin, keTili batono.
Tu mxolod esaa qarTuli sufra, saqarTveloSi namaspinZlari, kacTa mier dominirebuli, romlebic elodebian am gauTavebeli kerZebis mzadebis da samzareuloSi qancis gawyvetis Semdeg rogor mieaxlebian maT colebi karebSi Sesvlisas da fexebs dabanen, Tu mxolod esaa qarTuli keTilSobileba da stumar-maspinZloba, maSin madlobT, magram me marTlac ar msurs aq Cemi adgilis povna an am yvelafris nawilad gaxdoma.
me vipovi adgils albaT im qalebs Soris, visac ar surs maT xedavdenen monebiviT qedmoxrilebs, romlebsac ar gaaCniaT aranairi xma, da cdiloben Tavi daimkvidron, gaixaron sakuTari individualobiT, ipovon dakarguli xmebi, gaaRon gulis karebi da gulianad imReron TavianTi sakuTari simRerebi. . .…am qalebis gverdiT miguleT mec.

*(1) Has feminism arrived in Georgia?  Damien McGuinness BBC News Tbilisi
*(2) www.unfpa.org/public/home/news/pid/13518
*(3) www.ge.boell.org/web/116-996.html
*(4) scholarworks.iu.edu/journals/index.php/aeer/article/view/1249/1332
*(5) A Guest is a Gift from God Coner McKeever

With thanks for the translation  by eliso sarava





Thursday, 11 April 2013

GEORGIA Where do I fit in?

Now that I know a lot more about it, do I actually want to?

In Georgia, 'traditional(gender)attitudes still dominate. And workers on one building site in central Tbilisi were clear about what they thought a woman's role in Georgian society should be.
'In an ideal family, the man should be the head of the family, the breadwinner. And the wife should care for the family. That's how a household works harmoniously' said one man.
That is a view shared by the country's powerful Church. At a Sunday sermon at the main cathedral in Tbilisi at the end of April (2012) the patriarch, head of the Georgian Orthodox Church, got involved in the debate.
'Men are in charge of the family' he said, 'and women should be waiting at home ready to wash their husband's feet when the get in from work.' (1)

He omitted to mention the extremely high rate and well documented evidence of domestic violence against women by the ‘head of the family’.  By imposing gender roles within the family he is attempting to break the women’s movement currently gaining momentum in Georgia. Women are trying to speak out against issues of violence and are being proactive in an attempt to empower themselves within this patriarchal society. By stating such ludicrous expectations of both male and female behaviour, the patriarch seems to be positively encouraging these gender stereotypes and would appear to be endorsing and  perpetuating a cycle of domestic subjugation .  *(2) As the popular Georgian saying goes, ‘Women know their place’.  Not, Women SHOULD know their place… no, women are very clear about their place and it’s not on an equal footing with men. (Excuse the pun) 

Can I respect the patriarch for saying this about women? I can give him about the same amount of respect as he has afforded me. On the acceptance of domestic abuse and utter female subservience, I have no intention of complying. The question of women’s subservience is not entirely unique to Georgia so I need to look a bit deeper into the society and its traditions to see if I fit in anywhere.

It’s funny how anniversaries spark re-connections with old adversaries.  As the apparent death knell from Ilia II issued a year ago this month coincides with a year of grieving and mourning the loss of my own intimate relationship with Georgia, I find a need to reason and understand where I did or do (still? )fit in. The loss was the result of a series of betrayals and emotional abuse from a whole group of people who had professed to care about me.

I have just returned from a week singing Georgian song at the Findhorn Foundation which is in the Scottish Highlands.  At Findhorn, participants were invited to experience, some for the first time, other’s, like me, for the umpteenth time, the joys of singing and vibrating within Georgian song. Connecting with the internal cat purr of healing is a hard thing to do for us folk in the west but it is what essentially makes Georgian song so unique. By harnessing the inner vibration and sounding to the self, to the me, the resonance of energy can, like a sonic boom, be heard, and felt much further away than by purely using the voice. Using the voice alone is the way we traditionally approach singing in the West. Conversely, this is the energy connection which Georgians refer to as the ‘natural’ state and not the stereotypical image of a ‘natural’ new age traveller romping about naked up in the north of Scotland getting in touch with themselves and doing a lot of naval gazing.  The sorts of harmonies this internal vibration creates  is also very energising, opens the heart, heals the mind and  gives a feeling of ‘flying’ especially if enough head vibration singing is done.

Where does this vibrational experience fit into the archaic (and let’s face it, outrageous ) and assumptive statement made by the patriarch of Georgia? In my experience many women, both those who walk the path of feminism as well as non-feminist Georgian women agree with the basic principles being put forward by the head of the Church on some level because it seems to help to define roles in a society which has essentially lost its way with regards issues around gender.

Also, because the Georgian experience and understanding of the purpose of vibrational connection is different to ours we find it difficult to see the benefit.  The problem comes when the vibration connection is presented as an integral part of societal roles that are convenient to the male. That is, it suits the man to let women believe that this connection is unique and part of a cultural heritage, and therefore ought not to be questioned or challenged. Many Georgians rely on this inner vibration to connect them to their fellow Georgians. Many see it as a way to maintain a sense of safety and cohesion (that may or may not be an illusion) a gender identity (also possibly another illusion) which, before the fall of the Soviet Union was in actual fact pretty equal with regards the equality of the sexes. *(3)

Is it  possible for women to believe that they can exist outside of the vibration whilst still experiencing it? Having been (invited to go) to Georgia (at last count 6 times) must count for some kind of commitment on my part to at least try to understand the maelstrom that surrounds these issues.

Apart from in church the most traditional place for Georgian Folk and (often church music until it was no longer banned by the Russians) is at the Supra which is generally perceived as a microcosm of the larger Georgian society. Foreign guests are welcomed with open arms *(5) into this tradition so as far as I am concerned it’s an excellent place to look at these issues.  Where do women fit into this microcosm?  Not just me, a woman from the west, but Georgian women themselves?

The differences between the way we, in the west look at, study, marvel and re-create the Supra to the actual Georgian supra was  never  more pronounced than on an evening last week when I attended a traditional Georgian supra as part of the Earth Sings Conference at Findhorn. It was traditional in that it followed a series of toasts proposed by the Tamada or Toast Master and was hosted by the artistic director of the Foundation. People responded respectfully and gave the deepest accord to the Tamada who was poetic and knowledgeable about both Georgian and English customs.  It was traditional in that Georgian songs were sung after each toast and that everyone was invited to speak what was in their hearts as long as it was linked to the initial idea proposed in the toast. It was traditional in that it took a long time to get to the end of the evening and that there was red-wine which was drunk, as a mark of respect, after the end of each toast and not before.  

That was where the idea of a traditional experience of a supra ended and I think a very English/European ‘take’ on things began to appear. For a start, at all the Supras I have been to in Georgia, and I have been to many, hardly anyone takes any notice of the Tamada – the guests are often on mobile phones or chatting, or singing and there are often  raised voices and heated exchanges with lots of gesticulating. It is my understanding that if this sort of behaviour is allowed to continue it is the sign of a bad Tamada.  Conversely, at our Scottish Supra everyone listened and supported, learnt something new and sat in awe at the skill of the Tamada, Frank Kane who, in my opinion did an outstanding job in showing us what a supra could be like, ought to be like, should be like. Women contributed on every level with the co-Tamada being a woman, and a very articulate and sensitive woman she was as well. The microphone was handed around to anyone who felt they wanted to contribute and women contributed just as much as men.  There  were white women, black women, tall women, short women, women from a gospel background, from a Celtic past, from America, from Japan. Scottish Margery Bray sang a sacred Georgian woman’s song accompanied by a mixed voice drone and all the women did these amazing things with no fear of intimidation. I definitely felt part of something really special and wanted to be there.

This was unlike at a ‘traditional’ Georgian supra where women neither sit with the men or contribute to the toasts. Unless you are a guest, women have more often than not spent all day preparing the food. The role of the Georgian woman during the supra is to keep bringing food out, to keep things fresh and to remove plates and generally be a dogs-body. I have never heard a woman speak at a Georgian supra and when I tried, I was dismissed and admonished even though I had been told it was normal and was even encouraged to do so. *(4) Where did I fit in to that double standard?  I felt  negated and ignored which in turn made me question the reasons I was even attending such an event.

The Supra at Findhorn was supportive, convivial, inclusive, celebratory and courteous to both sexes. The food, whilst not attempting to follow any form of complex table organisation was lovely and had been prepared and served by kitchen staff (of both sexes) who were recognised and thanked publicly  It was a testament to the attitude and approach of the Findhorn Foundation that such deep rooted respect existed in the first place and I felt very comfortable being a part of it. The biggest difference between the Findhorn Supra and one taking place in Georgia was that there were no language barriers as everyone spoke English.  

Having said that one of the most traumatic Supra’s I have been to and was made to feel very uncomfortable at was one which took place in the UK where everyone but the  Georgian guests spoke fluent English. (the Georgian guests on the whole had a good grasp of English however)  It was there that I felt that something was not what it ought to be, but not speaking Georgian I had no idea what was wrong. I just did not feel as if I fit in. Everything was working on the surface but the company I was keeping seemed to be doing a lot of extra smiling and the laughter was devoid of warmth. I have since been told from more than one source that the conversation by the Georgian (men) present included making derogatory and sexual comments about me. This happened whilst looking me in the eye, smiling, laughing, toasting and celebrating the success of their tour. I don’t want to be part of that. (This says everything about these particular Georgian men and nothing about me – the defining of women as either virgins or whores is a recurrent theme in Georgia)   

In the company of visiting Georgians, in my own country I was made to feel uncomfortable but in the company of a mixture of cultures, races and creeds at Findhorn who were being true to and respectful of the Georgian culture and traditions my voice soared in song, my spirit flew, my heart opened and my eyes shone. I loved being part of that.

The patriarch of Georgia may want women to be defined by ‘traditional’ roles so that they are unable to genuinely shine within their own society. He may well want them to be at home, passively waiting to wash their husband’s feet. Maybe too many women accept as the norm that they have no voice, have no right to a voice and that nothing will ever change. Right then.

If the reality of a Georgian supra, hosted in Georgia, dominated by men who negate women, assume and expect  they will break from the drudgery of endless food preparation  to wash their  feet as they come through the door represents all that is supposed to be noble and good about Georgia then I really don't want to be part of it – thank you.

If I can find a place among the women who refuse to be seen as either  domestic slave or the voiceless teenage virginal bride  and who are pressing forward in the struggle to establish and flourish within  their own identities, find their own voices, open their hearts and sing their own songs… then count me in.

*(1) Has feminism arrived in Georgia? By Damien McGuinness BBC News Tbilisi
*(2) www.unfpa.org/public/home/news/pid/13518
*(3) www.ge.boell.org/web/116-996.html
*(4) scholarworks.iu.edu/journals/index.php/aeer/article/view/1249/1332
*(5) A Guest is a Gift from God Coner McKeever

Friday, 22 March 2013

BE-ing Georgian

“To be, or not to be, that is question” –Hamlet

My mind spins around this phrase all the time. What is it to be anything? How does one define oneself? Does one let others do the defining? Is it done through words? Mood? Culture? Song? Food? Buildings? Politics? Gender?


For me be-ing is very present-participle, very here and now, very elemental. Sometimes I am all water, then there is a fire in me that propels me forward, or there might be  the solidity of the earth which holds me or the aspiration of the air. I am mood and spirit and centre force. I am my own yardstick full of character traits and rights and wrongs and I am love. Am I a citizen of the world or tied to a collective conscious that has grown from living in one place for so long? Is my –ing based on a past culture or do I live entirely with my character and personality here in the present carving out each day as new water passages through soft rock?


What is it TO BE?


To be English, to be Italian, to be German, to be French or to BE GEORGIAN?







I saw this poster on Facebook, posted by Georgian friend and there it was again,THAT THOUGHT.

‘Yes, but what does it MEAN??’












I looked to the Georgian media and was shocked at what Damien M Guinness had written in his article, ‘Has Feminism arrived in Georgia’ (1) which showed quite clearly that is has not as the TV show designed and manipulated to show the very worst of male macho-ism, ‘Women’s Logic,’ shows. 

Images of scantily dressed women answering patronising, degrading and manipulative questions is described by Georgian feminist protest leader Ninia Kakabadazae when she says,

'The programme makes women look stupid and reinforces dangerous stereotypes, in a country where women are often viewed as intellectually inferior'

My own experience of working with the Georgian media was markedly different but just as defining. Interviewed by The Patriarch’s own TV channel I was ‘told’ to change my top no less than three times for fear that the tiniest bit of flesh below the collar-bone might show. Images of women bounce across social net-working sites across the world but those coming out of Georgia which play on the stereotypical Virgin verses Whore look – are disturbing.


Take this one I saw today on Facebook




Translation: You don’t know what to expect. And, yes that is a dagger you see before  you.
   









I asked my sister, who knows of my involvement with Georgia, and who works as an education officer at a prison here in the UK, what the ‘under-belly’ of society thought about the idea of what it was to be Georgian and what she came back with shocked me. All prisoners no matter where from held the same view. Georgians were thugs, the worse kind of criminals, emotional-less, calculating, ruthless, cold and dangerous.

Whilst I have had mixed experiences with Georgian personalities I did not want to ‘boil them all in one pot’ as one particular Georgian saying goes so  I asked Georgians themselves what it meant to BE GEORGIAN.

It would appear that Be-ing Georgian is tough. The question threw many of my Georgian friends into a frenzy of past/present double-think and some, recognising the complexity of the question choose not to answer, telling me it was something they had never thought of before and that it was too complicated. (Did that make them lazy or were they not comfortable sharing?)


There was a lot of talk about soul and character and individuality.
‘But how does that make you Georgian?’ I asked. ‘It’s about being emotional, being connected to the ground, being natural’ another answered. Well, I’m all those things, I thought and I’m not Georgian.


The word patriotic and nationalistic came up a lot. This and a claim that as a country that has constantly been oppressed, invaded and persecuted part of be-ing Georgian seems to be  a desire to stand up and fight for freedom and democracy.


Patriotic democracy? Nationalistic freedom? Mmmm another oxymoron.


OK but what characteristics would you use to define a Georgian personality? I kept asking. What is it to BE Georgian?


‘Music defines us, the mood of music’ came one reply. ‘What kind?’ I asked and a link to the Basiani ensemble (members of the Patriarch of Georgia’s choir) was posted on my wall.  Uh oh, another double-think moment. I represented one particular choir here in the UK for 3 years and I understand, probably because I sing Georgian song,  that the mood of different types of folk music helps to define characteristics of different regions. For example the songs from the grape growing region of Kakheti  mirror the movement involved in working the land for grapes whilst those songs from Svaneti are harsher, stronger, more dominant with a crashing stone bass sounds which  reflect the landscape and the hard physical labour which must go into surviving in remote mountainous regions.

Sacred church song however is sung to strict rules and allows for no variation. It is supposed to be sung by those with a pure voice that comes from a pure soul. Unfortunately as I know to my own personal cost, that this is not always the case.(2)
 

‘Not as holy as would be expected’ describes the apparent hypocrisy which frustrates not just me but the feminist movement in Georgia who speak angrily about the ‘Do as I say, not do as I do’ attitude of the church especially towards women.

So, in order to challenge certain perceptions that just keep re-appearing I kept pushing the question – what is it to BE Georgian, what characteristics does a Georgian have?


Then, finally, this answer came in this response.
.
We are,

‘Unique in everything, love, hate, wisdom, silliness, we can be mean, generous, decent and rude, open-hearted and tricky at the same time. Can you find any other nation in the whole world who is so versatile? We LOVE fame and fortune more than anything! We can criticize a man to death and ban him, but worship him when he’s dead and bring a sea of flowers and heart-melting toasting at his funeral. We really are a nation who are from ancient roots and we can boast this over the world, making other nations feel desperate and low’


This perceptive Georgian woman is a neurologist (3) who has thought a lot about this question as the unexplained nature of her people intrigues her as well. She then went onto write about how the character of a Georgian can only be based on the ideas of the past, which are:


'A past of stories of decency and knight-ship, mysterious and powerful women and tales of ruthless vendetta.'


As several other Georgians have also told me, the good intellectual, moral and spiritual core has gone from the present day Georgian - eliminated over the years by Russian persecution. What is left behind are beautiful but empty toasts to a past which seems to be being re-written somehow, much like our own King Henry VIII re-wrote his present in order to woo Anne Boleyn when he re-enacted and romanticised The Knights of the Round Table fables.  


Like Good King Hal’s portrayal, that present was based on an illusion of the past.

Is Georgia now doing the same? Is Georgia trying to re- define and re-sculpt an image of a Georgia that it wishes to portray to the world but one which is beyond its own abilities? Is this  what makes the Georgian so difficult to define?


The reality it seems, and I guess this is why it took so much digging to find some kind of  answer, is that the modern Georgian is an echo of the past – only the negative traits remain.


Before being -ing there was bravery, genuine hospitality, tolerance, wisdom, creativity and ‘being nice’ by nature, now there remains visible only negative traits, laziness, excessive drinking, supra's where offense is easily taken, empty toasts to fairy tales from the past made into glories fables  and the assumption that Georgia is God’s chosen land and that no-where else could ever match it for its beauty, nobility, richness of culture, heritage, history and past. 


No humility in there then.

All of this manifests itself in an arrogance based on assumption.


Is that what it is to truly BE Georgian?


I truly hope not.


Sarah

(1)http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-17943026
(2) The Holy Choir of The Patriarch of Georgia is of a combination of several choirs most notably Basiani and Shavnabada – of Basiani I have no personal experience.
(3) Mariam Velijanashvili






Wednesday, 6 March 2013

Language and Waiting


Words, power and how language defines us.

“The tongue is mightier than the blade” *
“The pen is mightier than the sword”

This idea has appeared time, and time again through -out different cultures, times and religions and has settled here in the West as a euphemism for polite negotiation. Hopefully, this is in preference to passive/aggressive power struggles.

Not so, it would appear, in Georgia.

The menacing sword held in the right hand of  Kartilis Deda, a huge statue which stands at the top of Sololaki Mountain, can be seen from most of Tbilisi  and is impressive. The translation into English gives the statue another name. Known as 'The Mother of Georgia' the statue represents a philosophy which gives the Georgian people both power and keeps them powerless. In her left hand this giant Deda holds a bowl for wine which is synonymous of the great traditions of wine-making and hospitality that Georgia is notably famous for. The sword, clutched in her right hand is meant to be a warning to any potential invaders. Georgia will defend her lands, territories and rights.

Here is double-think at work again; the power of the ideas presented in this statue, loyalty to kin, honour and hospitality keep the culture alive but which actually, only succeeds  within strict and rigid cultural and orthodox guidelines. However, without an ability to relax or remove the metaphorical sword many aspects of that culture become powerless, the way women are perceived, for example or the way the certain phrases define such perceptions of who the Georgian people are.

There is a phrase I have heard 1000’s of times in Georgia and it transcends the different regions, tribes and traditions.

“ I (we) am (are) waiting for you”

Ok, that’s great but what does it mean? It seems full of power yet feels powerless at the same time. It seems out of context, out of time.  It gives and it takes in the same instant and assumes an intimate connection with you, as a potential guest, but also makes you, the guest, responsible for that connection and any action needed to arrive whilst being waited for. Your action will ensure the statement is a success  or a failure. That phrase, followed by a shrug of the shoulders and another utterance, “What can I do?” seals the double-thinking process  which continues, to this day, to put my head in a spin.

The potential guest is never quite invited, but is always welcome, the potential guest is placed in a passive/aggressive position and like Kartilis Deda, is kept trapped in a never ending cycle of hand holding the cup of wine and offering friendship but from behind a sword, which threatens to kill should they come too close. If the guest fails, or offends, as they inevitably will, the shoulder shrug confirms the low expectation of the guest in the first instance whilst absolving all responsibility or initial instigation and the side-stepping phrases which started the cycle, will be spoken again. At this point neither the pen, nor the sword can offer any answer, or comfort.

I first saw Mother Georgia as part of a night-time drive/walk through Tbilisi. The air was electric with both sexual tension and confusion. That  night in September 2009 had started with the phrase, ‘I am waiting for you’ and had ended with a shrug, palms up, and a, ‘What can I do?’ as I had tried to understand, through heated conversation, the contradictory ideas presented in the Deda, with a Georgian man who then (and now) had absolutely no idea what I was talking about.

Recently large statues of Stalin have been returned to their original plinths both in Tbilisi and through-out Georgia. This process has been funded by the new government. As Kartilis Deda looms over Tbilisi, defining and confining, I wonder, if statues are symbolic of a Georgian identity, then what does the return of Stalin all really mean? Head spin time again.

Georgia prides itself on great art, literature and culture so I hope that eventually she is able to begin to see that there are alternatives to the passive/aggressive- powerless/power conundrum that is self-perpetuated by the symbolism of Deda. Of Mother.

Taking Deda down could be an act of powerful redefinition but might just be a step too far. Choosing different phrases to define an identity however, is not.

Sarah
*From the Greek playwright Euripides d 406BC



“We're waiting for you.”


            Wait then. Keep waiting – and make sure you enjoy it, because you might be waiting forever.

            Reciprocity is something we seem to hold sacred these days. Scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours. Love me and I'll love you back. Do as you would be done by. It takes two to tango. We hold our demands for reciprocity up as strength, as sassy, savvy, empowered and liberated. I am no fool – you cannot fool me – I will not be taken advantage of. Do not think I will make the first move, do not expect me to expose myself. You cannot fool me.

            “We're waiting for you.” said one man to another. “We're waiting for you.” came the reply, with a smirk. “Um, no, actually, we're waiting for you – AND we said it first! Jinks! No returns!” The two men stand and look at each other, for quite a long time. They shift slightly, chew their lips and furtively look at each other, making sure not to inadvertently be caught looking.

            “We're waiting for you,” said the host to his guest, an unreadable smile on his lips. “Oh,” said the guest, smiling falteringly and looking at the array of food on the table, the bottles of exquisite wine and the empty chairs. The guest looked at her host once more and saw a twinkle in his eyes, hard as glass. “We're waiting for you!” he said again, no impatience, just amusement. Declare you hand, he means to say, show us your weakness, he's thinking, give us an excuse to slip a dagger between your ribs when you accidentally slight us, she reads in the lines around his glittering eyes.

            “I'm waiting for you,” she says to her lover, staring at the space above her collar bone because she's too afraid to look her in the eye. “I'm waiting for you,” she murmurs as she runs her fingers over her lover's skin, every touch screaming I love you. “I'm waiting for you,” she says silently, a lump in her throat, her heart freezing over, all the while unaware that her lover is peacefully sleeping.

            Don't wait.

 Richard