Silence does not help. It disempowers
everyone.
This is my
tribute to all the women in Georgia who have suffered any form of violence at
the hands of men. As a result of my own
extremely distressing experiences with a
particular Georgian man, it is difficult for me to find a safe space within
myself to ‘be reasonable’ about such an emotive subject. I don’t actually think I should dumb down my
own emotional response to the latest murder of a young woman in Georgia who was
killed, her body locked in a flat and the flat set on fire. The fact that she was vociferous about women’s
sexual rights and the rights of the LGBT community only highlights how oppressed
women and minority groups are in Georgia. She was murdered for having a voice,
and for finding the courage to stand up
for basic human rights in a society that is deeply flawed.
The horrific
nature of this woman’s death is not, unfortunately, unusual across many countries
but the death of this one woman, the latest in a series of Femicides in Georgia
brings into sharp focus how close to the surface violence against women is.
When I was there last summer, I had coffee with a friend in the Old Town of
Tbilisi, a café that, on the surface looked cosmopolitan and European. My
friend told me how, that very morning he had tried to find the apartment in the
block where he was living where the screaming, sobbing, thumps and thuds were
coming from. Every few days, he said, the same thing happened. He could not
tell if it was from the apartment above, below, by the side or across the hall.
His face was tortured and his fists bunched as he said, ‘If I could get my
hands on the bastard I would kill him.’
Hate crime is not classified in the Georgian legal system as a separate type of crime.
Femicide
Have you
ever had a death threat?
I have*.
Seriously.
Have you
ever told people about the death threat only to be greeted with platitudes of,
‘Oh he would never do that, he may say… it but he would never do it.’
I have.
Seriously.
Have you
ever been threatened by his friends, been told you were a liar, were attention
seeking or that these things were a private matter and not to be spoken about
publically?
Have you
been told that you, ‘Did it to yourself’.
That you
were crazy and ought to be ashamed?
I have been.
Seriously.
Have you
ever had people who are in denial about the toxicity of a society look at you
with pity as you struggle to understand how this has happened to you… to you?
If only,
YOU, would shut-up.
Just. Shut. Up.
I have been
Really. Seriously.
Georgia’s
hatred for women is growing.
If you are a woman who happens to be
active,
If you are a woman who pokes the
blind eye
Who paints rainbow colours on the steps
of public indifference
If it is you who makes, into a paper
aeroplane the letter, hand delivered to the
Head of the home by the policeman
Reminding you not to show your bruises in public
Could you fold it please, and from your 9th floor post- soviet
concrete crumbling apartment
that drips and
Stinks of lies and drink, let it go,
so that I may find it and come to
Release you.
For you, my sister, are lost. Ashes
of good intention drift over the plateau.
Your children are silent now.
The stick he used to beat you, lies,
smouldering by the blackened bed.
Where is the key he forced inside you?
Jagged, charred, and now crevice
concealed by a concerned neighbour
Who wiped it clean right after
He turned it against
You
That last time.
Silence does not help. It disempowers
Everyone.
# After
thinking I could handle the threats and manage them myself I realised that,
after the man who was making them wrote that he could ‘pay anyone in London
just £200 to hurt me’ I involved the police. They took it seriously, contacted
Georgia, connected me with the domestic abuse telephone support line, who
called every week for the next 4 months and then once a month for a year
afterwards, prioritised any calls I made to them and filed a case against him.
The advised me to keep silent.
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